I should, I wish, I love...

I've been tagged by Mr Nighttime, ex-virgin, with this meme.

My ex... employer, when I was sixteen and doing a summer job as a hospital cleaner, carpeted me twice, and threatened to sack me. The first time was for "making the patients help me with the cleaning". Shocking? Well, of course it would be if it were true. I'm not fond of cleaning but I'm not as lazy and wicked as all that. I had been sent in to clean the geriatric ward. There was an old lady there who was quite mobile but a bit confused. She used to get out of bed when she saw me and faff about "tidying" her room. I started giving her a duster to play with and she would flick it about the windows in a haphazard way, happy as larry. One of the nurses must have reported me. The second row I got was for talking to the patients too much. It was great, years later, when I was a student minister, to get the chance to go into the hospital chapel one Sunday to conduct the service for the walking wounded/wheelchair mobile, which was also broadcast to the bed-bound. I thought it was cool to be able to tell them that I had previously been given a row for talking to patients and now I was here specifically for that purpose.

Maybe I should... lose some weight, take some exercise, eat healthier, drink only water, tidy out the loft, be a better mother, daughter, wife, sister, oh boy, this is depressing.

I love... my relations, my friends, and prisoners! The latter I take to be a work of God. Just over a year ago, when I was interviewed for my job I was kind of hoping I wouldn't get it. I didn't want it really. I don't tell lies, so when the governor asked me at the interview, "Why do you want this job?" I cheated a bit, and got round lying by asking him, "Well, why does anyone want to do anything?" (I hope he doesn't read this). I now know I'm where I'm meant to be though, and all my life experience hitherto, now seems in retrospect to have been clearly leading to this role!

People would say... er, well... I've no idea and find it better not to speculate. I'm often told I'm very laid back. When I told my mum that and said that I don't really feel laid back, she said, "No, Anne, you're not laid back. You've just given up". Charming, I must say. But possibly true. With four kids you can't really sweat the small stuff. And my wise mother also says, "No-one looks back on their life and wishes they'd done more housework". I think that's true unless they lie dying in hospital having fallen over the stuff that was left lying on the stairs!

I don't understand... about tax, cricket or the off-side rule in football. This doesn't limit my enjoyment of life much.

When I wake up in the morning... I am thrilled if it is a Saturday!

I lost... the need to worry about what people thought of me the moment I turned forty. It was as sudden as this which is about to happen to a member of this household, I suspect.

Life is full of... laundry and Jesus, but not in that order.

My past is... in the past. Doh!

I get annoyed when... people moan incessantly and are ungrateful.

Parties are... good once I get there. I don't mean my arrival makes them good but I mean that I often don't look forward to them, and feel shy on the way there, but once I've got through the door and realise there are people there I know, I relax.

I wish... I could share my faith and explain to people what they're missing.

Dogs... are for people who're not cat people.

Cats... are for people who're not dog people.

There are only two kinds of people in the world - cat people and dog people. So they say.
I say that there are only two kinds of people in the world - those who think that there are only two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Tomorrow... I'm going to jail. Again! In fact I'm going to both "my" jails.

I have a low tolerance for... the gym. Zero tolerance in fact.

If I had a million dollars... I would be less worried about how we will one day fund four kids through college, and about living in a "tied house". I'd invest it and tithe the interest. I don't think I'd be giving up my job though (but don't tell the SPS I don't do it for the money. Money isn't everything but it's useful when you want to buy something).

I'm totally terrified of... the ground. People call it being scared of heights, but it's not the height that kills you. It's the ground when you hit it! Totally terrified's an exaggeration but I did once get vertigo sitting on the couch in someone's living room on the twelfth floor in a multi-storey flat. I don't always enjoy being on bridges and balconies much either and I'm scared of our whole family drowning because the car has gone into a river.

I think I'll tag Fred, Dickiebo, Lynn, Roland and Hideous. Don't worry, all of you, if you're too busy or you don't fancy it. And if anyone else fancies a shot, be my guest. It's fun to put together.